g124v17y

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.

You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.

Miss you.

I love you Megan, I'm sorry I hurt you, but in my heart, I know that we'll get through it.

Current Music: Incubus - I miss you

the update on sam...
saw britt today, kinda uncomfotable, i wonder if she hates megan or not... probably so... megan gets it now, and im happy for that, i think i started yelling at her when i shouldnt have but i couldnt stop myself, its like once you open the can you cant stop the stuff from coming out... im sorry if i hurt you megan, i love you and i hope i can make it up to you... and hmm, lets see, i almost beat fear, and i kept fucking dying at the last fucking part and it was fucking pissing me off, and then i started seeing things in real life so i stopped playing... lol... and so, life goes on with samuel kovalyov, and believe me, youll know about it... lol

Current Music: under the bridge! DUH!

AHHH! I"VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT, ITS 3:10A.M. RIGHT NOW AND THIS WHOLE TIME SINE 10:30 I'VE BEEN WORKING ON MY MYSPACE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SLEEP!!!!!! GOOD!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU MEGAN! MUA! but really check out my myspace i like it i think its cool...... gnight all

Current Music: red hot chili peppers - under the bridge

I love you megan, really alot... lol..... BABY! YOU ROCK MY WORLD!

Current Music: elvis

OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: omg, theres a cat at my door
IAmSamsScreename: lol
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: its like its speaking in a different language
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: yo quiero un bufando
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: translate
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: por favor
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: na na, na na na na, hey hey hey... saaaaam
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: haha
IAmSamsScreename: no speake english
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: lol, speake espanol?
IAmSamsScreename: yes
IAmSamsScreename: lol
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: muy bien, ¿Donde esta tu queso?
IAmSamsScreename: NO SPEAKE ENGLISH!
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: NO INGLES! ES ESPANOL!!
IAmSamsScreename: YA NE SNAYU ESPANOL YA TOLKA SNAYU PARUSKY!
IAmSamsScreename: lol i got you with russian
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: but u told me u speak spanish
IAmSamsScreename: when?
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: hey wouldnt it be funny if i was fluent in russian?
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: lol, speake espanol?
IAmSamsScreename: yes
IAmSamsScreename: i said yes, thats english, and i dont know english, which means i dont know what i said
IAmSamsScreename: HAH!
IAmSamsScreename: i thought this whole thing out
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: i said, speak spanish? and u said yes
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: HAH!
IAmSamsScreename: espeake
IAmSamsScreename: BUT I DONT KNOW ENGLISH
IAmSamsScreename: which means i dont know what yes means
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: so u shouldve spoken in spanish... if u dont no english, y would u be talking IN ENGLISH???
IAmSamsScreename: i jsut guessed that you were speaking english because i dont know english wither
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: ey wouldnt it (just gettin my text back)
IAmSamsScreename: i only know russian
IAmSamsScreename: ???????
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: HA u said witherrrrrrrrrr
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: lol
IAmSamsScreename: THATS RIGHT YOU WITHER! YOU WITHER AND YOU DIE BITCH!
IAmSamsScreename: j/p i <3 you
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: SCUSE ME?
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: lol ok fine, but BACK TO THE OTHER ARGUEMENT!....
IAmSamsScreename: ok
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: like i said, Y WOULD U SPEAK ENGLISH (yes) IF U DONT NO IT?
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: hm???
IAmSamsScreename: so i only know russian, when you said espeake espanol i said yes because i didnt know what that meant in english i just thought it meant no
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: but u also said, u dont no english
IAmSamsScreename: no speake english
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: y would u no yes in the first placce?
IAmSamsScreename: i know how to say that and only that in spanish
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: HUH?
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: just shut up
IAmSamsScreename: i heard someone say it once and i thought it meant cause they were yelling it alot
IAmSamsScreename: while they were getting raped......
IAmSamsScreename: so i figured they were saying no
IAmSamsScreename: but i guess its yes
IAmSamsScreename: lol
IAmSamsScreename: :-P
IAmSamsScreename: i think
IAmSamsScreename: I WIN
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: omg, u no wut?? FINE u win, ass face
IAmSamsScreename: W3RD!
IAmSamsScreename: i love you kate your awesome
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: haha
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: thanks
OnECreAtiVeSpaRk: but idk y youre calling me awesome, i just called u an ass face
IAmSamsScreename: its ok we just had a fucking 20 min argument on nothing

Current Music: crash and burn - savage garden

wow.........

wtf happened... no longer trustworthy? i dont think i did anything to deserve this... i dont get it, i was here, and people knew that, and now, its over, wtf, what did i do sam? and i have now noticed its not just you, its a couple of other people too... i just... ::sigh:: why? what did i do? or not do... ::sigh:: im sorry if i havent been there when you needed me and im sorry that im not here now and im sorry that i wasnt before and im sorry for whatever i did and whatever i am doing and as long as i figure this out i hope it'll all get better, cause i dont understand, i have friends and then i have good friends, and best friends... friends are anyone i can have at least 1 good time with, good friends are that i have good times with and they can trust me, and best friends is when i have mutual trust between them and me, now apparently, i have alot less good friends then i had, my best hasnt changed in a while, but i had a lot of good friends and now like 2-3, and well, im sorry.....



thanks chris,
you made me feel alot better without knowing you did Secret Agent 008

Current Music: everclear - wonderful

I love you Megan, you are my favorite thing that walks on this planet... BUT ON MARS ITS THE LITTLE GREEN PEOPLE! lol... well I do love you Megan, and as pissed as I can be at you or with you I will always love you... like perfect blade of grass in a see of wilting ones... lol..... I love you Megan, so much... I have decided...

Our Song...

So denied, so I lied
Are you the now or never kind?
In a day and a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again

Are you willing to be had?
Are you cool with just tonight?
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the night we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's gunna come too soon

Put your name on the line
Along with place and time
Want to stay, not to go, I want to ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the night we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's gunna come too soon

All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go

Don't let me let you go

Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the night we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye, tomorrow's gunna come too soon

Too soon

Here's to the night we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's gunna come too soon

Current Mood: i dont even know, just blah

Hey,

Nothin too big happened today but when I was talking to jeremy online I realized...

im into hacky sack, snakeboarding, snowboarding, working, and chilin with friends and megan... sober............. the occasional party is ok too, but thats like, what i do now, and its as if, if you do something differentish, i dont respect you anymore....im becoming more and more against drugs

ok i gtg bye everyone... and if i dont see ya, good afternoon good evening and good night.

Current Mood: not bad

Best day of my life today, next to the 30th, lol, well me and megan hung out at my house today... ;-) ;-) lol, and umm, we had fun... the time flew and in what seemed like 10 minutes it was 6:00 although it was less then 3 hours we had, still, too little time! lol, well hopefully well do this again sometime.... yea...... I LOVE YOU MEGAN! and i love you too erica casey! except i love you plutonically! hahaha, ok...

Current Music: savage garden

if you want to be happy all you have to do is say you are untill you are and when you are be happy that you are, then you will be happy

Current Mood: accomplished

IAmSamsScreename: CreaturInThedark: will he tell me
CreaturInThedark: or will he just hide it?
IAmSamsScreename: yes
IAmSamsScreename: why would he hide it
IAmSamsScreename: GOD DAMN PEOPLE ARE STUPID!
CreaturInThedark: idk.
CreaturInThedark: Yea. I know i am!
IAmSamsScreename: NO NOT YOU
IAmSamsScreename: I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HE WILL PROBABLY HIDE IT
IAmSamsScreename: BUT FOR SOME REASON I KEEP TELLING YOU DIFFERENYT
IAmSamsScreename: DIFFERENT
CreaturInThedark: dont tell me different
IAmSamsScreename: AND I PLAN ON TALKING TO HIM AND TELLING HIM TO TALK TO YOU
CreaturInThedark: ...... Why?
IAmSamsScreename: BECAUSE I KNOW HE ISNT ACTING HAPPY, BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN A THING!
CreaturInThedark: if hes not happy i have to know.
CreaturInThedark: has he said anything?
IAmSamsScreename: SO WHAT IS STUPID IS THAT PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW
IAmSamsScreename: I SHOULDNT HAVE TO DO WHAT IT IS I DO
CreaturInThedark: lol I know sam.
IAmSamsScreename: I DIDNT TAKE ANY LESSONS! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! ALL I KNOW IS WHAT I WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP AND THATS WHAT FUCKING MAKES ME BETTER THAN MOST FUCKING PEOPLE ON THIS FUCKING PLANET BECAUSE I FUCKING KNOW WHAT I WANT WHEN MOST PEOPLE ARE FUCKING WALIKING INTO WALLS UNTILL THEY GET THERE SO THATS WHY I DO WHAT I DO! TO LEAD PEOPLE INTO FINDING OUT WHAT THEY ACTUALLY WANT FROM A RELATIONSHIP, AND STOP THIS CHILDISH BULLSHIT, CAUSE IF ONE OF THE PEOPLE ISNT HAPPY THEN NEITHER OF THEM ARE, AND IF THATS NOT TRUE THEN YOUR A SELFISH BITCH OR DICK DEPENDING ON SEXUALITY
IAmSamsScreename: wow
IAmSamsScreename: i feel better
IAmSamsScreename: lol
CreaturInThedark: awe
CreaturInThedark: sam
CreaturInThedark: im sorry
CreaturInThedark: I know what i want
CreaturInThedark: I just have to know if he is happy?
IAmSamsScreename: i dont know
IAmSamsScreename: and cant tell you
IAmSamsScreename: but i will talk to him tommorow
IAmSamsScreename: and i will tell him to stop being a baby and talk to you
IAmSamsScreename: because if you say it hell get pissed
IAmSamsScreename: god...................................... call me hitch from now on
CreaturInThedark: I love you samie man.
CreaturInThedark: hehe
CreaturInThedark: sam
CreaturInThedark: how come you are so cute.
IAmSamsScreename: I DONT FUCKING KNOW!
IAmSamsScreename: lol
IAmSamsScreename: j/p
CreaturInThedark: hehe
xbeckyxCoREx: amazing
IAmSamsScreename: :-)
IAmSamsScreename: i now know why i do what i do
IAmSamsScreename: why we all do what we do
xbeckyxCoREx: why
IAmSamsScreename: all of us "helpers" in relationships
IAmSamsScreename: to help people find out what they really want
IAmSamsScreename: and then they are on their own
xbeckyxCoREx: word
xbeckyxCoREx: but really, people should just be on their own caude it's fucking gay how stupid people are
IAmSamsScreename: exacftly
IAmSamsScreename: exactly
IAmSamsScreename: but everything happens for a reason, and if i choose not to help them then im no better off
IAmSamsScreename: so why not
IAmSamsScreename: thank you coming from someone that means it is more powerful then most people think
xbeckyxCoREx: word word!
IAmSamsScreename: :-)
xbeckyxCoREx: :-)

Current Mood: incredibly happy

davez4real: im pissed i was gonna have some girls over for the eagles gaem but they couldnt come cuz they both got strep throat from being out drinkin lasnite
IAmSamsScreename: hah
davez4real: yeah i know rite
davez4real: they was out till four aparrently
davez4real: when u comin down again
IAmSamsScreename: idk
davez4real: u should come for this weekend and mon nite if u can
davez4real: cuz we gonna have a crazy ass party for alison
IAmSamsScreename: no thats cool
IAmSamsScreename: i got work to do
davez4real: no u should come down. christines gonna b there lol
IAmSamsScreename: i dont care dude
davez4real: hahaha u might
IAmSamsScreename: i have a g/f and i am exteremely happy, where i am
davez4real: send her pic
IAmSamsScreename: megan
IAmSamsScreename: you've seen her
davez4real: that short thing thats always smoking
davez4real: ??
davez4real: that isnt her is it
IAmSamsScreename: no it probably is
IAmSamsScreename: lol
davez4real: isnt she kinda gothy
IAmSamsScreename: yea
davez4real: dude fuck that come down here
IAmSamsScreename: fuck you
davez4real: bring her she can get high
davez4real: make her happy so she isnt a goth any mroe
IAmSamsScreename: dude.....
IAmSamsScreename: fuck you
davez4real: lol
IAmSamsScreename: no man
IAmSamsScreename: not funny
davez4real: dude im laughing
davez4real: y no haha
IAmSamsScreename: you went to far, you dont understand, i dont hang out with pot heads, and none of my real friends do drugs, so to me, you are now a piece of shit, and i dont need you disrespecting someone you have never met, escpecially someone that means that much to me, so dude.... fuck you, and fuck off...
**(we have gone over this 100 times before thats why im so aggressive here)**
davez4real: dude chill ive known u for like ever
IAmSamsScreename: but not her
davez4real: ill always b ur friend man she might not
davez4real: ok
davez4real: i was jokin
davez4real: im sory i offended u soo much
IAmSamsScreename: you obviously have never been in love, because you have no idea what you are talking about, i know you were koking, but jokes go to far.... and still, you smoked pot, and to me, you are worse than the bugs i step on, as with everyone else that has done it while having me as a friend
**(<3 Megan)**
IAmSamsScreename: joking*
IAmSamsScreename: so dave
IAmSamsScreename: i dont care
IAmSamsScreename: you crossed a line with me
IAmSamsScreename: with my friendship
IAmSamsScreename: so i just dont care anymore
davez4real: dude that was fucking harsh it take it back
IAmSamsScreename: dude
IAmSamsScreename: you shouldnt have done what you did, i have a certain level of respect for people that i shoulnt respect simply for the fact that they were smart when it came to drugs and alchohol, and i no longer have that for you, understand?
davez4real: ugh go to fucking colege and not smoke sumthing or drink sumthing
IAmSamsScreename: oh so you cant be different,
IAmSamsScreename: you cant be yourself
IAmSamsScreename: you have to do what everyone else is doing
IAmSamsScreename: right dave
davez4real: dude i dont know how u could say that shit we r practicallly brothers
davez4real: i dont drink
IAmSamsScreename: and you do this!
IAmSamsScreename: wtf does that mean to you!
davez4real: im sorry dude u should b too
IAmSamsScreename: im not
IAmSamsScreename: because you should be
IAmSamsScreename: and im fine with that
whenever i: u know sam
whenever i: i dont care what u fucking say to piss me off about how im bug that should b stepped on. im not ur friend im ur family and u should know that i love u like a bro. so what u just said is just as heartbreaking
IAmSamsScreename: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THAT SO IS WHAT YOU FUCKING DID! AND WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT I DIDNT WANT YOU TO DO IT, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID? YOU SPAT IN MY FACE! DIDNT EVEN GIVE THOUGHT TO WHAT I SAID! SO YOU KNOW WHAT DAVE! FUCK YOU!
whenever i: sam dude i dont care how pissed u r now im still gonna b ur friend
IAmSamsScreename: i dont care
whenever i: thats sad isnt it
IAmSamsScreename: very....
IAmSamsScreename: im not pissed
IAmSamsScreename: im dissapointed
IAmSamsScreename: and that type a thing takes a while to go away
whenever i: goddamit sam u fucking slashed my chest i got over it faster
IAmSamsScreename: but you know, your probably gunna do it again anyway right? cause you know, they're doing it
whenever i: mm not like that time i got to high i might take a hit or sumthing but id rather just hang with them or drink alittle
IAmSamsScreename: yea
whenever i: u feel a little beter?
IAmSamsScreename: no
IAmSamsScreename: i dont believe you
IAmSamsScreename: and i have no reason to
IAmSamsScreename: i am not mad
IAmSamsScreename: at all
IAmSamsScreename: i am dissapointed in you
IAmSamsScreename: which means i am only upset when i think about you
whenever i: ok u should trust me
IAmSamsScreename: what gives me reason to trust you
whenever i: idk ive known u the whole time ive lived in jersy
IAmSamsScreename: yea and i liked you here
whenever i: that i just did it cuz i like alison
whenever i: im tryin to get her to quit
whenever i: and stop partying
whenever i: that i havent ever been arested
whenever i: what about me is soooo untrustworthy
whenever i: tell me sam????
IAmSamsScreename: that youd sink so low to like someone dude
IAmSamsScreename: come on your smarter than that
IAmSamsScreename: you know you dont have to
IAmSamsScreename: you know that the only way youll be happy is if there is no compromise between you and whoever you like
IAmSamsScreename: and thats too much compromise
whenever i: lol sam fuck u u know that im trying my hardest to make u realize that im the same person and u r trying to lecture me get out of here
whenever i: im not a junkie
IAmSamsScreename: once is all it takes dude
IAmSamsScreename: i know from fact
IAmSamsScreename: and i lost a friend to drugs already ok
IAmSamsScreename: i dont want it to happen again
IAmSamsScreename: and thats why i am the way i am
IAmSamsScreename: and thats why i dont fucking want this anymore
**(tom...)**
whenever i: sam i promise u i wont if u do sumthing for me
whenever i: u can never talk to me like this again or i promise u i will kick ur ass. because u r soo fuckin lucky im patient now bc u arent perfect and u shouldnt b the one lecturin ok
IAmSamsScreename: why?
IAmSamsScreename: tell me why
IAmSamsScreename: what is so bad about MY life
IAmSamsScreename: cause i really want to know
whenever i: i dont want this sam ok i dont want another argument
IAmSamsScreename: no argument i wont say anything back, i just want to know how well you think you know MY life, what is so horrible about it cause i think that im one of the luckiest people in the world, and i think its sad that we all dont feel the same way but some people cant help it, so please dave explain to me... what
whenever i: i really dont want to
whenever i: ur life is good
whenever i: ur jus not perfect
whenever i: k
whenever i: u fine with that answer
IAmSamsScreename: well no shit im not perfect but im happy
whenever i: k im not
IAmSamsScreename: and im not trying to impress anyone
IAmSamsScreename: and i do what i want to do when i want to do it, so im perfect to me
whenever i: yea and im not perfect and im not happy and im not in love and my familys unhappy, but ill be damned if im gonna let u tell me that i cant try and have fun with a girl i really like cuz thats not sumthin ud do/ and u know how many relationships ive had. so if u think u can live my life beter be my guest it sux always has always will
IAmSamsScreename: i feel sorry you think that
IAmSamsScreename: but i can be happy without drugs
whenever i: try living in my family
IAmSamsScreename: thats the point im trying to make
whenever i: fuck u dude im depressed now i dont want to talk to ya i thought u were my friend
IAmSamsScreename: i fucking thought i was too, so if you ask me not to do something i would have done it but now i dont know
whenever i: dude i wont smoke anymore ok i dont want u not to b my friend
IAmSamsScreename: THANK YOU@
IAmSamsScreename: jesus
IAmSamsScreename: lol
whenever i: go fucking screw some1 elses plans ok
IAmSamsScreename: now was it worth going through all that to not smoke pot anymore?
whenever i: mmm lemme think fuck u i know ur going to some day
whenever i: so yea it was
whenever i: ill save this convo for when u tell me u smoke
IAmSamsScreename: hmmm, fuck you i would hurt 1000 people if i did, and none of it would matter cause i'd hurt myself more by doing it
whenever i: its not like pcp
IAmSamsScreename: dude, thats like saying its ok cause its all natural
IAmSamsScreename: lol
whenever i: lol
whenever i: its organic
IAmSamsScreename: hahahhahahahaahahhaahhaahha rofl
whenever i: lol
whenever i: we koo
IAmSamsScreename: as long as you keep your word
IAmSamsScreename: we koo yea we koo
IAmSamsScreename: :-)

Current Mood: HappyStartSadEndHappyAfter